Dear Rod,
I see that you have been giving a lot of advice to people with knee replacements. Well, I really need some advice now because I am scheduled for double knee replacement tomorrow. One of the issues is that I don't sleep well at night because of the anticipation. At night I have crazy dreams about things going wrong and I also dream about the rehab. Furthermore, the hospital called me to let me know that the procedure will be $184,000. That's just a little more money than I have. Do you have any advice for me?
Duane,
Dear Duane,
I'm glad you contacted me for advice before it's too late. I can imagine you are going wild with anticipation.
I just happen to know a guy that does knee replacements for only $19.95 plus an extra fee for the sawsall blade. And you don't have to wait until tomorrow, he can do it this afternoon. It's a walk in and walk out clinic. And you don't have to worry about the anesthetic. If you can stand a small blow to the head, once you wake up the procedure will be over. He even includes a couple free generic ibuprofen to help you recover. He also has a chart to show you how to do deep knee a couple hours after surgery.
Hope you don't bleed to death,
Rod
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