Monday, January 23, 2012
Mom is a Hoarder
Because I have this absolutely crazy mother, I need some really crazy advice, since it seems that nothing else is working. My mother is 83 years old and living alone since my dad died three years ago. She thinks she is independent but she also expects me to be at here house to do numerous things such as mow the lawn, shovel the snow, vacuum the floors, Clean the bathroom, do her laundry, take out her garbage, and do her shopping. I used to do this with no reservations but lately it is getting harder to do especially since I know she can well afford to hire someone to come in an do the same things.
I also have two younger sisters and a brother who don't do anything to help. Yet, I know when it comes time to get the inheritance they will get an equal share. It's just not fair.
I also have my own house to take care of. And the real big issue is that she saves everything. Things are piling up around her house. The front porch is full, the back porch is full, and now she is piling stuff on the furniture. She doesn't offer me a dime for what I do and the Lord knows I could sure use the money. What should I do?
Sincere advice seeker,
You have made an easy solution difficult. You have several very good options, and some that are not so good. Let's start with the not so good.
In the not so good category you could 1) play along with her and keep doing hat you are doing. 2) Start sneaking the junk out of her house a little at a time hoping that she won't notice (she will). 3) Start talking abusively to her (she'll give all her money to the other kids). 4) put arsenic in her food (her money will go to the other kids).
In the good option category: 1) Stop doing everything for her. Once she realizes you won't do all this all the time she will hire someone else. (she'll give her money to the other kids). 2) Have her declared incompetent and put in an assisted living home (her money will pay for the home and you will have to split what is left with the other kids). 3) Forge a large check to yourself and take a vacation to Cancun. Plan on living in Mexico the rest of your life.
In short, no matter how hard up you are financially you are not going to get your hands on her money. Obviously your mother is smarter than you and she knows how the system works. Obviously your siblings are smarter than you because they also know how the system works. Obviously, you don't. Sorry.
Rebecca, stop working for something you will not get. Helping your mother should be something of your character, not your greed. Your siblings have to answer for themselves. Resent them if it makes you feel better but don't expect any reward for it.
Not so crazy advice,