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Friday, January 20, 2012

Kid Trouble in the Car

Margaret wrote:

Dear Rod,

I see that you have been advising presidential candidates so I figured that your advice would be good for me, too. The problem is, that my husband and I love to take road trips in our car. Or, I should say used to love it. Then the kids came along. Three kids in one car just doesn't work. All I ever hear in the car is stuff like this: "Are we there yet?" "Don't touch me!" "You're touching my space!" "Mom, She's touching me!" "I'm hungry!" "When we gonna get there?" "Stop hitting me!" "Mom, she's hitting me!" On and on it goes.

On top of all that, my husband has to have the radio going with music that just drives me up the wall. I've tried just about everything, but none of it works.


Dear Frustrated,

I can see where the kids would spoil the trip, but I believe that you have options to this problem.

First of all, tell that stupid husband of yours to turn off the radio.

Secondly, tell him you want to drive.

Thirdly, get little tiny padlocks and pierce the kids' upper and lower lips. Then threaten the kids you'll use the padlocks.

Fourthly, you drive, then have your husband sit in the back seat between two kids and have the good kid sit in the front on the passenger side.

Finally, you could do what all good parents do.....QUIT TAKING ROAD TRIPS!!!!

Write me and let me know how the padlock thing works out.

Truly committed to bad advice,


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