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Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Watchdog

Helen Wrote:

Dear Rod,

My husband, Carl, and I are both retired and we decided that we would like to have a little dog in the house to keep us company and to sort of be a watchdog. Well, the other day Carl brought home this cute cocker spaniel, whom we call "Blackie" because he is all black. I fell in love with the dog at first sight. He's very affectionate. But there's one big problem, he let's the awfullest stinkers, and a lot of them. It doesn't bother carl because he has lost his sense of smell. But our house smells like a nursing home on a bad day. I'm embarrassed to have my lady friends over for tea.

What shall I do?

Dear Helen,

I'm glad you are ready for some good advice. I believe that you have options.

First of all, you could ask Carl to trade Blackie in for a new Blackie. I'm sure the humane society will find a nice fitting home for the old Blackie, such as a farmer who will keep him in the barn. In this way you will still have Blackie.

Secondly, you could quit feeding Blackie onions.

Thirdly, you could keep not inviting the ladies over for tea. I bet they are the reason Carl got Blackie in the first place.

Fourthly, you could go to Costco and buy a case a Febreeze. Or, you could buy nose plugs. But make sure you get enough to pass around to the ladies at tea.

Last of all, don't light any matches as long as Blackie is around. That means no birthday candles and no tea lites. It also means Carl will have to quit smoking.

I hope I helped you.

Write me and tell me how this works out.

Dedicated to bad advice,


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