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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Sarah Replies

Sarah replied to my advice. She wrote:

Dear Rod,
I'm so mad I could choke you! When I came home from work last night there was this ugly monster who greeted me at the door. I've never seen anything so ugly in my life. I screamed. I thought I'd come face to face with some alien animal. Then I realized it was Duke. Poor Duke, he was all naked and shaven. I just about threw up when I saw him. What ever made you tell my husband, Lenny, to shave him? This dog will be an embarrassment to me.

And what do you mean that a "dog is worth two wives?" I'll have you to know that I am the only one in this house that works. Lenny sits around and watches TV all day and doesn't lift a hand to clean the house. I go to work, I do the laundry, I come home and cook, I do the vacuuming. That husband of mine isn't worth a half a dog. So there! He didn't even take the garbage out!

What kind of advice do you give, anyway? Sheesh!

Dear Sarah,

What do you mean? "What kind of advice do I give?" Sheesh yourself. I have my disclaimer plastered all over my blog that I give crazy, undependable, bad advice. That's what people do is come to me for bad advice. Everybody else thinks their advice is so good, but I know that my advice is bad and I enjoy giving it. I can't help it that Lenny has only a half a brain and believed my advice and followed it. Poor Duke.

When I said that a dog is worth two wives, I thought Lenny could figure it out. Actually, it's the other way around: a wife is worth two dogs. What did you marry him for? Do you enjoy being abused and being a martyr? Are you guys Polish or something? Lenny should embarrass your more than Duke does. You may be right, Lenny may be worth only a half a dog, which makes you lucky. Can you imagine what life would be like with two whole dogs?

Anyway, not all is lost. Duke will grow his hair back. But please tell me that Lenny didn't really doc his tail. By the way, where is Lenny? No, Don't tell me.

I'll be waiting for your comment.

Dedicated to crazy advice,

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