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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Puppy Plays Favorites

Sandy wrote:

Dear Rod,

My name is Sandy and I am 8 years old. 11 days ago we got a new puppy in our house. He is so cute. We call him Charlie. But Charlie likes my big sister more than me. I never get to hold him or pet him. My sister Kayla hogs him all the time. It makes me cry because I love Charlie, too. I don't know what to do to make Charlie like me. HELP!

Sandy

Dear Sandy,

When I read your letter I almost cried. Your feelings must be hurt really bad. But I think there is something you can do.

First, find out what smells and stuff Charlie doesn't like, like maybe some kind of strong soap, and rub that on Kayla's clothes without her knowing. Be sure not to get caught. Then at the same time rub something Charlie really likes on your own clothes and on your hands. Pretty soon Charlie will be coming to you and licking you all over. Smear some jelly on your lips and he will even lick your face.

Secondly, you be the one to go get the leash to take Charlie for a walk. All dogs like to get outside and walk. Pretty soon when you hold up the leash Charlie will come running to you. Bring some puppy snack with you, and if you don't have those bring some cheerios, puppies like cheerios too.

If Kayla gets mad at you, just chew some bubble gum and put it on her chair to sit on. She'll be so mad about her designer jeans that Charlie will be afraid of her.

Please write me and let me know how it all works out.

Committed to crazy advice,
Rod

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