Dear Rod,
I have a situation that I have been dealing with for many years. I have and older brother, Duke, that doesn't live far from me. But there has been an ongoing problem ever since we were kids. Duke always insists that he is right about things and that I am wrong. He will say things "like even a dummy knows that." Or, "are you some kind of idiot." It's very demeaning. Even on topics where I have a lot more knowledge he still thinks he knows more, and he won't back down. It's gotten to the point where I don't like being around him. Do you have some advice for me?
Dear Mark,
Thanks for writing. Your brother, Duke, has a dogs name..... a bull dog, which stands for bullying. I wouldn't want to be around him, either. But I guarantee you that he likes being around you because he always wins.
Here's what you do, don't be around him. Sooner or later he will notice that his favorite object of ridicule is avoiding him. When he finally asks you about it simply let him know that you are tired of being wrong all the time and that the only time you seem to be wrong is when you are with him. Let him know that you have found other friends to hang out with that don't ridicule and belittle you and that you no longer need him to hang with. Believe me, you will be the winner and he will be the loser.
There will be a long period that you won't see each other because Duke will be dealing with his anger. Once he has dealt with his anger, there may be opportunity to see each other again. I don't think he'll call you a "damned dummy." He will respect you because he will know that you can get up and walk right out the door. Your conversations will be better.
Hope I've helped,
Rod
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