Mr. Foot in Mouth Disease Seeks Rod's Advice

Mr. B Wrote:

Dear Rod,

Did you hear my wonderful speech today where I really ripped the wealthy. As you know Mr. O and I want everyone to play by the same rules and to do their fair share. It's just not fair that some people are rich while others have much less. The only way we can make sure everyone does their fair share is to tax the rich and redistribute the money to the poor.

Also, Mr. O and I are tired of these high gas prices. I mean, we want prices high so that people are forced to use other energy, but during election time this is a real bother. I wish that Iran situation would just go away. I mean, what do people expect..... we have only 2% of the world's oil reserves, at least that's what Mr. O keeps telling us. The "No silver bullet thing" you know.

What I don't get is that even a majority of the Republicans don't like Mr. Mitts, yet he is leading Mr. O on the national polls. Do you have any advice for us to help us bring our numbers up?

Mr. B

Dear Mr. B,

Glad you could write me. Yes, I do have some advice along with some questions.

You and Mr. O want the wealthy to do their "fair share" which I interpret is to pay more taxes. Are you aware that the wealthy already pay more than 75% of the federal taxes that are collected? My question to you is, what is the "fair share" for the rest? Is their "fair share" to sit around and collect benefits. Doesn't the rest of the country have a responsibility to do something for their country? By the way, have you written a check lately to donate to the government?

Secondly, quit telling people "there is no silver bullet." People don't want a silver bullet, neither do they want algae to put in their gas tank. Also, quit telling people that the US has only 2% of the world's oil reserves. By government statistics there is 70 times that much in the USA.

Thirdly, if you want to improve in the polls I think you need to start acting more like a Republican. People want change. They got change three years ago and they want to change again.

Finally, although no one has actually taken my advice on this as of yet, you need to get a cute little puppy and hold it during a speech. They just need to know that you have a heart.

Hope I've helped.

Committed to crazy advice,

Rod