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Thursday, April 12, 2012

More Coffee Issues

Jesse wrote:

Dear Rod,

I agree with Bernice. My husband also has a big coffee problem. He drinks so much coffee that his pee comes out brown. Even his eyes twitch and his hands shake. Not only that we have to drive a long ways to go to certain coffee shops. One of his favorites is thirty miles away, and another is just about that far away. The other day we actually drove fifty miles one way to get a cup of coffee, and I don't even like the stuff. We're paying almost as much for gas as we are coffee now. I think Bernice is right and enough is enough!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!


Dear Jesse,

What ever gave you the idea that I smoke? It sounds like you and Bernice are sisters and you are married to the same man. That's weird.

I don't think his twitchy eyes and shaky hands are from too much coffee. I think he's just scared to ask you to go with him again. I can imagine how that conversation goes. I think you need to make up to him by buying him a Starbucks card.

Have you ever heard of the Prius? I think you need to get one so that you can quit complaining about the price of gas.

What else would you do with your free time? Go to some chick flick? Can you imagine what the daily popcorn and coke would cost there? Besides, you know good and well that your favorite theater is twenty miles away. You're actually saving money buying coffee.

Jesse, what can be better than sitting at a Starbucks with great music playing, looking at the beautiful Colorado mountain scenery, and commiserating with friends? But I do admit that if you live in Iowa looking out the window at cornfields and hog farms my not be ideal.

Go buy yourself a Prius, then write me and let me know how life is going.

Committed to Crazy Advice,


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