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Friday, April 6, 2012

Michelle Complains About Her Husband

Dear Rod

I know I'm taking a big change writing you, but right now I'm really desperate. I have a lot of issues with my husband. For one, he's always talking politics. Then he goes to one political meeting after another. Sometimes he even flies out of town for these meetings. He has a habit of distorting the truth, he's always negative, a lot of his friends have abandoned him, and I even had to nag him into quit smoking. Thank God he quit smoking. I wish he'd get a normal job like everyone else.

I'm taking a chance on you,


Dear Michelle,

Thanks for writing. It sounds like your husband is Mr. O.

First of all, I can't blame him for talking politics, but I would much rather have him take another vacation to Hawaii. But I'm afraid that even there he will have another political meeting.

Secondly, Have you tried washing his mouth out with soap. When I was a kid and got sassy with my mom or lied to her I got a good taste of Zest. Actually that was a bad taste that did cure me for a day or two. So, with Barak you'll have to keep a lot of Zest around.

Thirdly, losing friends is what you do when you constantly talk politics. He would have much better success telling his friends how much money he can give them. Money always talks.

Fourthly, I'm glad you have the smoking issue under control. But have you walked out behind the White House to see if there are any cigarette butts on the ground? I'm telling you, talking politics the way he does will drive any man to smoke.

As far as the normal job is concerned, there are no normal jobs. They have all gone away. He hasn't caught on yet that the government doesn't actually create jobs. He's busy hindering corporations and companies that do. So in about nine months, good luck job hunting. I have friends who have been without a job for over two years. Just thought I would encourage you.
And in reality, I, too, hope he has a normal job soon.

Hope I've encouraged you,

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