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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Bunny's a Hunny

Bunny wrote:

Dear Rod,

I just wanted to write you and thank you for being such a good patient. To be honest with you, most of my patients are non-compliant and I feel that there are times I am wasting my time and theirs. I think the biggest problem is that I make them hurt. I don't think that they get it. Making them hurt is my job. You know the saying, "No pain, No gain!" Well that is almost always true. And I know I hurt you really bad sometimes. :-)

You know, to get those legs straight I have to sit on your knees while extended. Although you screamed a few times, you never stopped me from doing it, and I got your legs straight, too. Every time you screamed, I knew I was doing my job. Bending those stiff legs was equally as exciting. Oh, I know it hurts to bend them, but just look at you..... walking around normal, doing stairways, and now driving. I'm proud of you, but I'm even more proud of the job I've done for you.

But I'm wondering, do you have any advice for me?

Your therapist,

Dear Bunny,

Thanks for writing and thanks for the compliments. You really should be proud of yourself. You came up with new and innovative types of torture at each visit. Yes, I know it was for my own good, but I wish I didn't have to dream about it. I'm thankful to you for all the "pain to gain."

As far as advice goes, gee, I don't know if I can come up with better torture methods or not. Maybe to get full extension on my knees you should have had me sit on a chair and extend my legs and set my feet on a table. Then you could stand on the table and jump on each knee with both feet. Since tearing tissue was the object I'm sure that would have torn the tissue. It all would have been over in a moment rather than the long, drawn out process you used. Mind you, now, I'm not complaining....just advising. To make the experience a little more pleasant you could wear a wicked smile as you do it.

Also, I think you should apply for a job at Gitmo. You'd have those prisoners talking in no time. I really don't know why our government officials haven't figured this out by now. This would beat water boarding any day.

All in all though, I want to thank you for your kind words and harsh treatment. Already I feel like a real Marine. I wear the scars on both knees as a badge of honor, or at least a badge of bravery.

Wishing you the best,


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